GOD BLESS AFRICA

Now, I’m not one easily given to emotion. I have sat down at times, and upon deep reflection, I have come to a conclusion that I merely hide it better than most, which is a good thing because I’m all for mastering our situations and circumstances.

Be that as it may, the South African story, or more on-point, the Nelson Mandela-South Africa story has never ceased to inspire me, or move me to tears as the occasion may warrant. Granted, 27 years is a long time to be put out of circulation, but the way in which the man went about rebuilding his country’s confidence in

BABY'S DAY OUT

The soon-to-be father's hysteria,
The mother's mind-boggling pain,
Closely pushed by joy near enough,
Doctors and nurses,
Calm and serene,

TWITTER SUMMARIES

Twitter. Twidda. Twirra. Call it what you please, but whichever thing (social network obviously) took over from Facebook had to be the dog’s bollocks. I learnt that from being too “Englandish” in my browsing habits. Dog’s bollocks, way to go!

QUICK QUESTION(S)

What is it with Twitter exactly? How the heck did Twitter gazzump Facebook? I remember reading a BBC article in 2009 when Twitter had but 350,000 users, as fast growing as it was then. Why doesn’t Microsoft Office “defaultly” recognize perhaps two of the most used words in the world  - Twitter and Facebook?

UPDATE: Facebook fights back with improvements announced at the f8 conference

IF YOU ARE NO STAR, YOU’VE GOTTA DO THE “BAMBI ALLAH”

After being a relative hit on Facebook, it was a bit strange coming to Twitter and all you had was yourself to talk with. This was way back before Twitter became the dog’s bollocks amongst Naija youth. Dog’s bollocks

TWINKLE'S ALL GROWN UP NOW!

Jiggle, jiggle shapely butt
How I wonder, "WHAT THE FUCK?!!"
Up above the knee just high

Like a bootie on a...thigh

OSAMA: THE DEFINITIVE TIMELINE

Va Va Voom!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Osama watched Saturday Night Live, live from New York at his Abbotabad headquarters, and was understandably aggrieved. That Seth Meyers guy could only do false Gaddafi and Mubarak interviews. Gaddafi and Mubarak had been stealing all the headlines lately. Osama nodded to himself grimly. He knew just what to do to swing the pendulum back in his favour, and he knew what to do to hold it there, at least for a couple of weeks. That should soothe my battered ego alright. Osama pressed a button on his remote to mute the TV. Someone was doing a Charlie Sheen impression. Again. Osama fiddled with his beard and took his script. Time to rehearse for my own TV show, starring Osama Bin Laden, Black Background Curtain, Raised Fist and later on, introducing new star, Bombs. Osama couldn’t quite get “the tone” right, and so he retired for the night.

SUNDAY MORNING/AFTERNOON

Osama woke up with a start. He had had a dream in which Obama was chasing him, along with an AIDS-infested Kenyan “virgin”. Not to