TWITTER SUMMARIES

Twitter. Twidda. Twirra. Call it what you please, but whichever thing (social network obviously) took over from Facebook had to be the dog’s bollocks. I learnt that from being too “Englandish” in my browsing habits. Dog’s bollocks, way to go!

QUICK QUESTION(S)

What is it with Twitter exactly? How the heck did Twitter gazzump Facebook? I remember reading a BBC article in 2009 when Twitter had but 350,000 users, as fast growing as it was then. Why doesn’t Microsoft Office “defaultly” recognize perhaps two of the most used words in the world  - Twitter and Facebook?

UPDATE: Facebook fights back with improvements announced at the f8 conference

IF YOU ARE NO STAR, YOU’VE GOTTA DO THE “BAMBI ALLAH”

After being a relative hit on Facebook, it was a bit strange coming to Twitter and all you had was yourself to talk with. This was way back before Twitter became the dog’s bollocks amongst Naija youth. Dog’s bollocks
again, *smh*. I’m talking 2009 here. So I exed, and a few years later I’m back to discover that it’s the new big thing and Facebook had become a tourist resort. Well, well. So I start tweet again. I was outta school now and the avenues for massive followership had passed. Sad. Then I discovered that you would “#nff” someone and then ask them to “pls #ff back”. Strange, especially if you are the type that doesn’t exactly like to beg as such. I’m learning though.

#STUPIDTWEET

If you are looking for a blatant advertisement of in-your-face stupidty, then Twitter’s the place to come. Just follow all the right people and I assure you of a lifetime-lasting dose of stupidity.

BLOCKING

It’s all well and good to block downright assholes, but when you utilize the block button as Stalin utilized the labour camps to neutralize dissent and/or differing views, there’s a problem. The only thing our celebs seem to tolerate is gushing adulation bordering on buffoonery. No one is perfect and if you think you are, it says a lot about you as a human being. Take @piersmorgan for instance, he gives as good as it takes and will perhaps only block you if you display an inability to construct a meaningful and grammatically-correct tweet (wanted to say “140-word construct” but realized you can Write/Tweet Longer). If you can’t duel, at least ignore the barb.

IT’S TRENDING IN LAGOS

The things that trend in Lagos these days… #smh. It’s a tale of two situations. First, is it that we have always been sexually frustrated/perverts and Twitter just opened up an avenue to blare it loud on the streets? Or second, does the anonymity (or “anonymosity”, as a friend said) mean that we can get away with anything, even things we wouldn’t normally say?

...AND WORSE THAN SOME TRENDING TOPICS…

Mehn, some avatars (Facebook equivalent of profile pictures) are just so damn crazy. I know you can sort of report on Facebook and most other places. I’m not sure about Twitter. But, why some babes and guys be showing off they stupid-ass privates to the public beats me. The fluid nature of Twitter means even those that don’t follow you can get access to your avatar and tweets (and Twitpics!). Damn! Show some fucking decency already.