EINSTEIN'S FAVOURITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME

Si, mi pump-pump es broki... or so the Senor said

A revelation came upon me as I sat and moped about. This was reward for my period of disillusionment. Disillusionment always brings about a revelation. Now think what heartbreak would do to me! I would write truly poetic and soggy poems, learn my Spanish in record time, think up corny quotes from my suppressed corny quote well and then replace them with something macho to post on Twitter. Story of my heart’s life. However, I have not been heartbroken and I fear I shan’t be for quite a while to come, because, really, what fool continually gets heartbroken? D.O Fagunwa, God bless his soul,

I AM NIYI, AND I'M A TERRORIST

KAYODE'S OPENING: The piece that follows was written by Niyi Ademoroti. Some are sure he's the babe in our homosexual relationship. I'll obviously be the dude. I like to dish it, hehehe. He is @Toybaba on Twitter. You might wanna exercise caution about following him because apparently, hitting his "follow button" might take you to the fantastic country of Narnia. Fantastic as in fantasy. I mean, who cares about terrorists that don't bag 72 hymens after they're done?

This is my second piece after my brief hiatus and you'll find out that I still suck. The title of this has absolutely nothing to do with the piece itself and I am not sorry for disappointing or misleading you, infact that was my intention. I must stress at this point that if you ɑre not witty, you will not find this funny so kindly fuck off right now, FLEE! If you indeed ɑre witty you also will not find it funny because it is not meant to be, I lost my sense of humor to a male prostitute who raped me. -__-Have you ever dreamt of the futuree, I mean not

TOLA, YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A TITLE!

KAYODE'S OPENING: No, it's not a chess move where you beat that Bulgarian with just the one move. Seriously. Now, Tola Agunbiade wrote this. I've known her for half a day and I think she's weird. Very. You may find her weird too. I like weird. Make of that what you might... err, say, a coat of many colours. Or something. She's @Phyrdausi on Twitter. Knock your teeth out grappling with that. Hehehe. Knock yourself out reading this. It'll be worth your while.

The problem i always have whenever i write is what topic to write on. Most times, my mind is blissfully blank and i have nothing (sensible) to say...other times i have stuff to say but i just don’t know how to say them. Or rather, i don’t know how to “elaborate” which is why Twitter is so awesome for me. So! I have this mild throbbing...not in my nether regions, no... Au contraire, it’s in my... er...temple? Anyway, i’m thinking of investing in Ibuprofen. My Microsoft Word doesn’t really auto-capitalize my words.