Kayode's Opening: He's almost certainly crazy and probably belongs in an "institution" somewhere but boy does he turn out great stuff. He's Rolands Ndu Akpe (some name, I know) and @Bloody_Voyeur on Twitter. He writes what he calls poetry on Bloodywrits. As you may have noticed, he's a bloodthirsty, thieving son of a golden pen. You'll love this story. Enjoy.
I’ve been known to lie a bit; a lot of times, that is. I’ve been known to steal not much; I never get caught. I’m not mythomanic or klepto or anything, and so would therefore advice you, dear reader, to fucking put away that bowl of salt you’re about to take a pinch of! I’m sorry I swore, but I swear by the haematophilic gods of my fathers that whatever words shall come after this sentence shall be the truth and nothing but not the truth.