PLAYING SUWE WITH THE LAW

DISCLAIMER: This story is set in Jupiter. You know that means it doesn’t bear any semblance to anyone who lives, or has died on Planet Earth, and as no human has visited Jupiter yet, it can’t bear any semblance to whoever died on Jupiter either.

The Anatomy of A Plot, as written by Abdullateef Abiodun in the National Reflective Surface of May 11, 2023. AbdulLateef interviewed some of the persons involved in this event which occurred eleven years ago and has pieced together this story from their testimony.

“Scene Five, Take One and acksun!”

“Ko ni da fun e. Waa ya were gbeyin ni. Oloriburuku somebody. E maa wo…”

“Cut, cut, cut!”

Baba Suwe had been on the set of “Area Fada”, a new “movie” set to be released the next day. The theme of the movie seemed to be Baba Suwe cursing his way through every situation that came his way till the end. Of course, Baba Suwe was writer, director and producer. He would have been the boom boy, but for the absence of a boom. He had to cut the scene short because Murphy Ray, who was behind the camera, had just flashed his phone in his direction. On the screen, Baba Isale was calling, and Baba Isale took nothing for an excuse for a missed call, not even shooting a movie.

NYSC: BACK WHEN...

Camp pictures are on the mobile :(. This is still Kogi :)

A recap of 21 days at Asaya Kabba, Kogi State. It were pretty. And written just about a year ago. 

ONE QUESTION

How the hell did “as you were” ever become “ajuwaya”? And now, I have to tolerate people saying ajuwaya in my direction whenever I don that uniform or half of it anyways. Add that to being called corper, copper, manganese and molybdenum and I am well and truly pissed off.

LOVE AND OTHER PSYCHOACTIVE SUBSTANCES: THE END.

This concludes the "love and blah blah blah" series. If you've missed the initial two installments, check CLICK ME! for series one and CLICK ME! CLICK ME! for series two. That should take care of everyone, us "Kardashian-speakers" included.

8. I LOVE IRONY

Oh yes, it really does.

I love picking out irony. I had great joy figuring out that Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was being ironical (unknowingly of course) when she gave that Single Story talk on TED. She believes the West have a certain tailor-made keyhole into which they fit the African key. There cannot be any other door; no other key. And thanks to this model, Chimamanda fulfils the role of the perpetually overly emotive female African writer, whose pitiful characters the white man and woman will readily relate to, because after all, isn't this the single story of female (especially) African writers?

The reader was not required […] to admit that a book by a Negro author might challenge not just the conscience but the intellect.

                                             -  Stephen L. Carter (Palace Council)